J O Y s e f i n a
THE BASEMENT
by Josefina Beatriz Longoria
Your basement and my basement hide different shadows.
Our living rooms show bright and happy things.
We do not talk about the basement or what is in it.
I walk around bedrooms, the kitchen, and peek into closets.
You hang out in the den, dining room, and even your garage.
We do not go near the door that leads to the underworld.
One day, we mention that hidden space below.
Your eyes look away, I get a nervous laugh.
We change the subject to green gardens.
We get busy and excuse ourselves for not decluttering.
I cook, eat, or drink, while you shop, clean, or read.
Distress follows us to the spa, the bar, and the plane.
We complain about soreness, aches, and pains.
You brag about your new sheets, comforter, and pillows.
I plan to replace carpets, tiles, and wallpaper.
Finally, you say: “We should clean the basement.”
We are relieved, exhale and cry while we hug.
We commit to dive deep down and organize.
Down the steps is an ocean of what was and could have been.
This flood of emotions drips down eyes and nose.
Ripples of sadness turn into waves of grief.
Clouds of fear announce the thunder of anger.
The drizzle of loss turns into a storm of betrayal.
Despair sinks into the depths of loneliness.
The angst of drowning makes anxiety heavy.
Doubt pulls further down, and guilt asphyxiates.
At the bottom there it is, the stillness.
Please people, whatever you do, clean the basement first.
TOMORROW
by Josefina Beatriz Longoria
The future will be brighter, better, bountiful.
The future is forward, ahead, beyond.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Tomorrow is one day away.
We will fix it, improve it and upgrade it.
We will stop smoking, drinking, and eating sugar.
We will pray and meditate, tomorrow.
That gives us one more day because it is never tomorrow.
The thrill of anticipating the future.
The dopamine of planning for better days to come.
The promise of a brighter time, but never today.
Tomorrow never comes.
Children are afraid of life.
One day things change.
Adults are afraid of death.
The past was brighter, better, bountiful.
The past was full, fun, and filled with expectations.
We came out of the tunnel and there was another tunnel.
Tomorrow is getting closer.
What made sense in the morning is a lie in the afternoon.
The clothes we wore in the spring don’t cover us up in the fall.
We stop living in the future because it is here.
Whatever we want to improve, fix or upgrade must be done today.
I will meditate today.
TODAY
By Josefina Beatriz Longoria
It is always today.
It is always now.
It is always here.
What is this moment?
What is this present?
It escapes me while I remember the past or plan for the future.
It escapes me while I am sad for the past or fearful for the future.
Today was tomorrow just yesterday.
Today will be yesterday only tomorrow.
What is today? This morning, this afternoon or this evening?
The sun is shining now.
The fog of sadness is behind me.
The clouds of fear are ahead of me.
The present glows and radiates around me.
I stand on the present.
I am an acrobat on a thin tightrope.
Step by step, foot by foot, walking on now.
My eyes are not filming the present.
My eyes are projecting my light into the present.
Joy is coming from within me.
We rejoice from a sacred space inside.
TWO OTHER SELVES
by Josefina Beatriz Longoria
Today I think about tomorrow looking back to today.
Jump forward to the future and back to the past.
Days to come, will they be better or worse?
The chase for a better future while stuck in the present.
Anticipation is making me absent.
Judgment comes from my imaginary future self.
Am I late? Am I early? Am I where I am supposed to be?
I try to stay in the present, like a trained dog.
Stay. Stay. Stay.
But this moment was planned yesterday by my past self.
These perfect words have been rehearsed by my past self.
There is no improvisation only anticipation choreographed by my future self.
I pretend to be here, but I am one step ahead in my future self.
The enjoyment springs from the intention of creating good memories.
Stay. Stay. Stay.
“These are the good old days” reminds my future self.
RIGHT NOW
By Josefina Beatriz Longoria
Health, sickness, health, sickness.
Love, loneliness, love, loneliness.
Abundance, lack, abundance, lack.
The roller coaster of life.
Sometimes we have health, love, and money.
Sometimes we have sickness, loneliness, and lack.
With each reset, we bounce back stronger.
With each reboot, we rebound wiser.
With each restart, we leap back kinder.
We leave our comfort, transform and come back changed.
We leave the mainland, evolve, and come back improved.
We leave the known, mature, and come back enhanced.
Life still is a surprise.
Life still is an adventure.
Life is still a gift.
Children look to the future.
Elders look back to the past.
Life still is only now, right now.